Bill Murray is an enigma. Is he a crooning party guy? A hard drinking, temperamental Irish brawler? A melancholy loner? No one knows for sure, and it’s probably better that way. His persona is based on that mystery, and he owes much of his legacy to it. A Very Murray Christmas attempts to show us the “real” Bill Murray - but after an hour, we are left with no more answers than we had before.
A Very Murray Christmas finds the legendary actor holed up in a swanky New York City hotel where he is scheduled to do a live Christmas special. Unfortunately, a snow storm has closed the city down and things have to be scaled back dramatically. Much of the show is a loving throwback to variety shows of the past, with guests “stopping by” to perform a song with Murray, with the hotel’s waitstaff often acting as backup singers/band. Of particular note are Maya Rudolph as a sultry, world-weary divorcee who belts out “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” and Jenny Lewis as a waitress performing a surprisingly un-creepy rendition of “Baby it’s Cold Outside”. My favorite performance, though, is Murray, Lewis, and David “Buster Poindexter” Johansen’s interpretation the Pogues’ epic “Fairytale of New York”.
At one point Murray passes out and enters a dream sequence in which he lives out the Christmas special that was meant to be, alongside superstars George Clooney and Miley Cyrus. Proving that there is indeed a whole lot of talent behind all that twerking, Miley performs an awe-inspiring rendition of “Silent Night”. Clooney shows off his considerable charm as he engages in cheesy stage banter with Murray and sings backup on “Santa Claus Needs Some Lovin”.
I love everything about A Very Murray Christmas, from its variety show feel to its eclectic cast to its impressive and often moving musical numbers. I have no idea what inspired Sophia Coppola to do a Bill Murray-themed Christmas special, but I sure am glad she did. No matter what kind of guy Murray really is, he has truly given the world a beautiful Christmas gift.
As a kid, I was obsessed with Pee-Wee's Playhouse. I preferred it to Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, which gave me nightmares with its visions of frolicking demons, road-tripping serial killers, and Large Marge. I never missed an episode on Saturday mornings and meticulously recorded each one on a VHS tape - which makes it strange that I never saw The Pee-Wee's Playhouse Christmas Specialuntil recently. And man oh man, was I missing out. It takes everything that made the Playhouse insane, cranks it up, and rips off the knob.
Pee-Wee Herman can trace his origins back to the Groundlings, where a young Paul Reubens and a colleague named Phil Hartman created what was ostensibly a stage show for kids, but was filled with subversive and adult humor. The show was eventually filmed for an HBO special, which ironically morphed into an actual kids' show featuring a young Laurence Fishburne as Cowboy Curtis, Law & Order's S. Epatha Merkerson as Mail Lady Reba, and Lynne Marie Stewart as Miss Yvonne, who would go on to play Charlie's Mom on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
The first thing that you notice as an adult watching The Pee-Wee's Playhouse Christmas Special is that it not only shares the John Waters-esque camp sensibilities of the show, but it is loaded with gay icons. Guests include Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Grace Jones, k.d. lang, Whoopi Goldberg, Joan Rivers, Cher, Little Richard, Charo, and the elderly, ukulele playing Del Rubio Triplets (not to mention an opening number by a chorus line of hunky Marines). Reubens' orientation has always been mysterious - he has been attached to adult film star Brooke Ashley and actress Debi Mazar, but also has an enormous collection of vintage gay erotica which got him roped into the Jeffrey Jones child pornography investigation in 2001.
The plot of the special revolves around Pee-Wee being a spoiled, present-obsessed brat who demands extra wishes from Jambi and turns an arts and crafts segment with Frankie and Annette into sadistic slave labor. Along the way he participates in some typical Playhouse rituals - getting a magic word from Conky, jumping into the Magic Screen (with Magic Johnson), and watching one of the King of Cartoon's bizarre animations. Sprinkled throughout are musical numbers and visits from Playhouse regulars, and the whole thing ends with a visit from Santa. It turns out that Pee-Wee has asked for so many presents that there is no room left in Santa's sled for anyone else's gifts. Pee-Wee eventually breaks down and decides to share his haul with the children of the world, and learns a valuable lesson about how the holidays are about being selfless, not selfish.
The Pee-Wee's Playhouse Christmas Special is a rare treat for Pee-Wee fans for whom this flew under the radar the first time around, as well as lovers of all things kitsch, camp, and (let's face it) super, super gay. With a lineup like this it's truly something to behold - even if you're petrified by the thought of Grace Jones emerging from a wooden crate.
When you talk to people about the Muppets' Christmas movie, they usually think of The Muppet Christmas Carol. Which is a good movie, don't get me wrong, but it just doesn't quite work for me. Sure it was written by Jerry Juhl, Jim Henson's first employee, features most of the original voices and puppeteers, and it's got effing Michael Caine as Scrooge, but you can just kinda tell it's the first movie without Jim Henson in charge (he had died two years earlier). Plus it's way too schmaltzy. The Muppet Christmas movie I wish more people were familiar with is A Muppet Family Christmas.
A Muppet Family Christmas is a TV special from 1987, which later received a limited VHS release in a heavily edited form. It is notable for being one of the few occasions where characters from the four major Muppet brands got together (The Muppet Show, Sesame Street, Fraggle Rock, and the Muppet Babies), and being Jim Henson's last major Muppets production. In it, Fozzie Bear and friends travel to his mom's house to surprise her for Christmas, not knowing that Emily Bear has gone on vacation and rented the house out to Doc and Sprocket from Fraggle Rock. Later, the Sesame Street crew shows up and Miss Piggy races a snowstorm to make it back in time from her latest photo shoot.
There is so much good stuff in this special - Fozzie doing a comedy act with a talking snowman. A love triangle between Gonzo, Camilla the chicken, and the Christmas turkey. The cast of Sesame Street acting out "Twas the Night Before Christmas". Mindblowing Muppet crossovers. Singalongs galore, of course. And a heartbreaking final cameo by Henson, who is shown washing dishes in the kitchen after Christmas dinner. Looking out at the assembled Muppets singing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" he remarks, "I like it when they have a good time."
It's hilarious, it's joyous, it's fun, and to me, it was the last true Muppet movie. Oh and guess what - it's available in its entirety on YouTube, complete with all the original commercials! So now when we hang out in real life we can totally talk about it.
Long before he was the Elder Statesman of Late Night Television, David Letterman was bringing a very new and unique version of comedy to television - a bizarre, absurdist vibe that flew in the face of classic late night conventions. He was the bridge between the traditional style of Johnny Carson and modern-day comedy anarchists like Conan O'Brian and Jimmy Fallon. His persona, influenced deeply by writers like Merrill Markoe and Chris Elliot, has mellowed with age, but back in the 80s he was like nothing else on television. And he also did some pretty awesome Christmas-related stuff.
Before he was America's crazy Republican uncle who you hope doesn't start to talk politics at Thanksgiving dinner, Ted Nugent was the Motor City Madman. Here he is doing a duet of "The Christmas Song" with Dave back in the late 80's - I could have gone with a better quality clip, but this one includes a bit at the end with a cigar-chomping Dave riding with some Christmas carolers in a sleigh driven by 1987 Indy 500 winner Bobby Rayhal.
In December of 1986, Darlene Love appeared on Late Night to perform her classic "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" with Paul Schafer and The World's Most Dangerous Band. Dave was so impressed that he invited her back to do the song again next year, and every year since that for the past 27 years. Below is footage of her original '86 performance, as well as a mashup of all of her performances from Dave's Late Show days ('93-present).
Perhaps Letterman and company's most memorable Christmas invention was 1984's "Christmas with the Lettermans", in which Dave and his fake family welcome Pat Boone, the Doodletown Pipers, and monologist and "standup tragedy" performer Brother Theodore to their annual holiday special. Along the way, Dave's youngest son is sent on a tragic journey through the streets of New York City to fetch a tree, we learn that, sadly, Dave's "wife" Audrey Daniels-Letterman, was not a regular on Mission: Impossible, and the whole gang treats us to a rendition of the incredibly dumb "It Smells Like Christmas".
"A Very Sunny Christmas" is yet another example of something that combines one of my favorite things with Christmas - in this case, the terrible adventures of the awful employees of Paddy's Pub. It would be very easy for the Always Sunny gang to turn the expectations of a Christmas special on its head and make something cynical, where the conclusion is that Christmas is for suckers. But against all odds, "A Very Sunny Christmas" ends up being a surprisingly heartwarming episode of a show about five narcissistic, amoral monsters.
Like most "Always Sunny" episodes, this one consists of two different stories. Dennis and Dee, fed up with Frank's yearly tradition of buying their favorite Christmas presents for himself, decide to engage in a typically disastrous "Christmas Carol"-type scheme to show him the error of his ways (with the help of The Big Lebowski and Santa Claus: The Movie's David Huddleston). On the other side of town, Charlie and Mac desperately try to rekindle their Christmas spirit after making some horrifying realizations about their childhoods (Mac's parents were burglars, and Charlie's mom had sex with a neverending string of Santa Clauses on Christmas Day). Both tales feature some of the most hilariously disturbing scenes in Sunny history, including a sweaty, naked Danny Devito emerging from inside a leather couch and Charlie tearing out a mall Santa's throat with his teeth (not to mention a claymation Rudolph homage in which Frank is graphically eviscerated by the rest of the Gang).
Despite the gleefully nihilistic actions of the Paddy's gang, "A Very Sunny Christmas" manages to have the most (relatively) uplifting ending in the show's run. In a last-ditch attempt to harness the Christmas spirit, Charlie, Mac, Dee, and Dennis join forces to scream carols through the Philly streets (much to the chagrin of bottle-throwing locals). Frank has a rare moment of humanity and decides to give everyone what they want most for Christmas - until they're robbed by Huddleston. ("The bums will always lose!") In the face of a seemingly neverending string of assaults on their holiday enthusiasm, however, the Gang muddles through somehow and turns to the simple pleasures of Charlie and Mac's favorite childhood activity - throwing rocks at trains.
It certainly says something that only Christmas could bring out the sympathetic sides of the Paddy's gang, and this episode provides rare glimpses into their respective pasts which show that maybe, just maybe, they all would have turned out like decent human beings if they hadn't been irreparably messed up somewhere along the way. And the ending - with a young Mac throwing his arm around young Charlie's shoulders and walking home after a long day's train-pelting - is shockingly unironic and sentimental. "Always Sunny" is the last show you'd expect to leave you with that warm, fuzzy feeling, but it did happen once. And it'll probably never happen again.
Tonight is the night of my office Christmas party, so I figure there's no better time to discuss one of my favorite episodes of what is probably my favorite show of all time. The second season of the American version of The Office is widely considered to be its best, when the show most skillfully combined incredibly well-written humor with genuine emotional moments. Long before it became overstuffed with third-string characters and endless subplots, the show mostly concerned itself with the relationship between Jim and Pam (who wouldn't truly get together for another season and a half) and the clueless insensitivity of Michael Scott. And not only is this episode solid on its own merits, it deals with both of these subjects in a perfect way.
"Christmas Party" revolves around the office's annual Secret Santa gift swap, and for the first time ever Jim has gotten his beloved Pam's name in the drawing. He gives her a super thoughtful gift - a tea pot, since she loves tea - and fills it with inside jokes and reminders of great times they've spent together. The icing on the cake is a card which Jim cryptically explains by saying, "Christmas is the time to tell people how you really feel." On the Michael front, the self-proclaimed "World's Best Boss" is planning on impressing Ryan the temp (with whom he shares a very one-sided, very homoerotic relationship) with a brand new video iPod - a gift which clearly exceeds the recommended $20 limit. When Michael receives Phyllis' oven mitt as his gift, he flies into a childish rage and much to his employees' dismay switches the format to "Yankee Swap" - something Dwight accurately describes as "Machiavelli meets... Christmas."
Eventually Michael realizes the error of his ways - it turns out the only thing he likes more than proper recognition is an awesome Christmas party. To make up for his tantrum he purchases a shitload of vodka, everyone gets wasted, and the gang has a great time. The night ends with refrigeration magnate Bob Vance taking them all out to Poor Richard's for an afterparty, but not before a spirited snowball fight in the Dunder Mifflin parking lot. Oh and Pam ends up with the tea pot, but minus the card. Michael sums it up in typical fashion:
"Christmas is awesome. First of all, you get to spend time with people you love. Secondly, you can get drunk and no one can say anything. Third, you give presents. What's better than giving presents? And fourth, getting presents. So, four things. Not bad for one day. It's really the greatest day of all time."
Michael Scott may be an asshole most of the time, but you really can't argue with that. In fact, as the show went on and the writers were forced to make him more sympathetic, his dickishness was replaced with more of a naive lack of self-awareness, and a childlike need to be liked and surrounded with people who cared about him. He and Christmas are a perfect fit - it's no wonder it's his favorite holiday.
I've got to be honest with you guys - I never really watched He-Man when I was a kid. I don't know why, since it certainly was aimed squarely at my demographic back in the 80's, but I guess I was just more of a Rubik, The Amazing Cube guy. Regardless, I wasn't going to let that technicality keep me from watching (and attempting to enjoy) He-Man & She-Ra: A Christmas Special.
First of all, it turns out that the world of He-Man and She-Ra is weirder than I could have possibly imagined. I knew that they were a prince and princess who changed into badass defenders of Greyskull when they held up a sword or whatever, but what I didn't know was how many bizarre supporting characters there were. All kinds of weird alien creatures, a mermaid who talks like Zsa Zsa Gabor, a dude with a metal elephant head, and of course Orko - the dumbass, troublemaking creature with the annoying voice that seems to have been a staple of 80's action/adventure cartoons (see also: Snarf).
Anyway, He-Man and She-Ra are twins and it's their birthday, which happens to be right around the Earth holiday known as "Christmas". But of course Orko fucks everything up by accidentally flying He-Man's spy jet to Earth, where he meets two adorable children who got lost trying to find a Christmas tree in the woods. Why two kids lost in the woods would immediately befriend a weird-ass floating space creature is beyond me - weren't there PSAs about that sort of thing in the 80's? - but the kids take time to explain to Orko the Meaning of Christmas (love, presents, vague references to the birth of Jesus).
Meanwhile, He-Man and She-Ra have to get a magic crystal, fight a monster, and outwit some giant robots for some reason in order to get Orko and the spy plane back. Unfortunately, Skeletor manages to kidnap the two Earth kids during all of this nonsense. Left alone with Skeletor, the kids find an adorable space puppy and help ol' bony-face get into the holiday spirit.
Let me just talk about Skeletor for a second here - I found it almost impossible to take him seriously as a villain. Maybe they dumbed him down for the Christmas special, maybe it's because he sounds exactly like The Monarch from The Venture Brothers (or rather, The Monarch sounds like him), or maybe it's because he's so easily turned into a sniveling wuss by two doe-eyed kids, but come on dude. Also, apparently he has to answer to a boss who's supposedly even more evil than him, which reminded me of when I found out in G.I. Joe: The Movie that Serpentor had to answer to some alien dude with the voice of Burgess Meredith. Lame.
So obviously He-Man and She-Ra save the day, they have a wonderful Christmas/birthday party with all their freaky alien friends back at the castle, and they send the kids home to their parents. After the whole ordeal is over, He-Man (as his alter ego, the incredibly lame Prince Adam), attempts to once again explain to Orko that Christmas is about more than just presents before ending with an "Oh, Orko..." and a knowing glance to the audience.
In closing, I guess He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special had pretty much everything I'd expect from a Christmas special featuring He-Man and She-Ra. It all seems like a bunch of silly nonsense now, but certainly no sillier than Galaxy Highwas. Did Galaxy High do a Christmas episode? I'll have to look into it.
Let's face it - there's only so much Christmas stuff to go around. I never get sick of the classics, of course, but for addicts like me, there's never been enough new material to keep up with my insatiable demand. That is, until I discovered the wealth of cheesy Christmas movies that are cranked out each year by basic cable stations like ABC Family, The Hallmark Channel, and (my personal favorite) Lifetime.
Ms. Rhea plays a frazzled working woman who has no time for the holidays (a staple of any cable Christmas movie), yet must host an elaborate Christmas party to impress a potential client. In order to accomplish this she hires Owen, the titular Consultant, who spends the entire month of December immersing the family in Christmas spirit in a ridiculous, over-the-top way that only the Hoff could pull off.
Don't get me wrong - like most made-for-cable Christmas movies, this one is dumb. Really dumb. But Hasselhoff is allowed to do what he does best, and that's running around like a goddamn nutjob. Plus, I can kind of identify with his character's bottomless enthusiasm for the season, and frankly I'm a little jealous of his job. Except the part at the end when Caroline Rhea kicks his ass at the Christmas party. Apparently she thinks he's hogging all the credit for the party and making her family like him more than her, even though he has done all the work and of course her family has grown to prefer the lovable Christmas lunatic over the career-obsessed shrew.
This being what it is, everything is wrapped up with a nice little bow by the end. In a twist everyone can see coming a mile away, it turns out [SPOILER ALERT!] that the family that Owen awkwardly refers to throughout the movie has been dead for years. This knowledge melts Caroline Rhea's bitchy heart, and he is invited to spend Christmas at her place.
No matter what ingredients you use - a charming small town, an American city that looks suspiciously like Toronto, public domain Christmas music, an unlikely romance, a precocious child, a magical Santa-like character, etc. - the final product is always the same: The Perfect Christmas™. It may be sickeningly sweet or extra cheesy, but it's what basic cable does best. Well, that and Road House marathons.
Okay, so the Cavalcade isn't done just yet. New Year's Eve is technically part of the "holiday season", and no one takes down the Christmas decorations until after it's over. Unfortunately, I really can't muster anywhere near the same enthusiasm for the 31st that I can for the 25th. Maybe it's because it marks the end of the holidays and the beginning of Just Plain Winter. Maybe it's because I very rarely have someone to kiss at midnight. Maybe it's because I'm emotionally spent after blowing my Christmas wad. Whatever it is, it's pretty lame. But that's certainly not going to stop me from writing a blog post about it!
The one thing you can always count on on New Year's Eve is that everyone usually waits until the last minute to make plans, and as a result things end up being pretty half-assed. Gawker actually wrote a really great article about the five types of New Year's parties, most of which suck. Frank Loesser, who also wrote "Baby, it's Cold Outside", encourages us to avoid these problems by planning ahead (even if it's much too early in the game) in his song "What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?" And no, I'm not going to post that Zooey Deschanel/Joseph Gordon Levitt version that's been all over Facebook. Even though yes, it is fucking adorable.
As you may already know, I love The OC. And one of the most memorable episodes from its stellar first season is when Ryan makes it to the New Year's party just in time to keep Marissa from having to kiss Oliver at midnight. Oliver, of course, was the creepy weirdo she met in her therapist's waiting room who she keeps insisting to Ryan is "just a friend" even though he is, as I mentioned, a creepy weirdo who (SPOILER ALERT) ends up in a scary situation later in the season involving pills and guns. But anyway, here is the scene in which Ryan (as usual) saves the day. SWOON.
John Roberts, famous for The Christmas Tree, recently brought back his New Jersey mom character for an epic New Year's video. In it, Mom prepares for a party, philosophizes about New Year's resolutions, and gets drunk with her best friend Fran (played by Blondie's Debbie Harry). Enjoy it, and have a great 2012, everybody!
So tonight is the first night of Hanukkah, so I figured I'd throw a bone to our Jewish readers out there. Let's face it, though - Christmas pretty much has a monopoly on the season's pop culture. Aside from Adam Sandler's it-was-funny-the-first-thirty-times-I-heard-it song, there is precious little out there and if there is, I'd be the last one to know about it. Nevertheless, here are three (mostly dreidel-related) songs to get even the goyest of goyim in the Hanukkah spirit!
From Benny Goodman to Woody Allen, Jews have always had a close relationship with jazz music. In this first song, jazz singer/cantor Kenny Ellis sings an awesome swingin' version of pretty much the only Hanukkah song we gentiles are aware of.
South Park has always handled Jewish issues with maturity and good taste, and the holiday season is no exception. I could have gone with "A Jew on Christmas" here, but I much prefer the Broflovski family's powerful version of The Dreidel Song (featuring Eric Cartman).
One of the few legitimate Hanukkah TV specials was 1996's "A Rugrats Chanukah". Inspired by this groundbreaking episode, here is "Rugrats Chanukah", sung by the titular babies. You can even watch the special in its entirety on the Nickelodeon site.
I think I've finally figured out where my semi-recent obsession with Christmas came from. There has been a whole lot of 80's/90's nostalgia in the pop cultureverse these days, and experts say it is because people in their 20's and 30's live in a very uncertain world - a world that is unstable, stressful, and downright depressing. As a result, we cling to cultural artifacts that bring us back to a simpler time: Muppets, Pee-Wee Herman, Indiana Jones, etc. And nothing does the job quite as well as Christmas - not only does it take us back to when we were carefree children, but it takes us back to the very best day in the year of a carefree child.
A BetaMaXmas crams all sorts of old school Christmas nostalgia into one convenient website. You've got the wood panelling, the plaid couch with the afghan across the back, the Star Wars poster, and the TV with the rabbit ears. And what's on the TV, you ask? An immense, rotating selection of obscure Christmas television including commercials, trailers, TV specials, and movies. Spend a few minutes on this site and you will suddenly find yourself six years old again, sucking down juice boxes while sitting Indian style on the shag carpet.
For years now I have "harbored" a love for Fox's The OC (fans of the show will get my clever pun). At its best, it balanced smart writing and self-awareness with over-the-top melodrama in a way that made it more than just your average teen soap. I'd summarize the show and its major characters but if you're not already familiar with them, you must have been living in a cultural vaccuum for the better part of the 2000's (Spoiler alert: we also invaded Iraq, and Son of the Mask happened).
Every holiday season, The OC's Cohen family would celebrate Chrismukkah - a mashup that combines the secular aspects of both holidays, summed up by Seth as "eight days of presents, followed by one day of many presents." As the Onion AV Club points out in their excellent article, each season's Chrismukkah episode tends to reflect the overall quality of the season surrounding it. The first season's "The Best Chrismukkah Ever" was great, while season three's "The Chrismukkah Bar-Mitzvahkkuh" was utter shit (thanks, in no small part, to Johnny - the worstcharacter in any television show ever). My favorite, however, has to be season four's "The Christmukk-huh?"
You see, by the end of season three, The OC was no longer the cultural phenomenon it once was. The writers had gotten lazy, starting to recycle old storylines and create crappy, underdeveloped, and just plain unlikeable characters (see: Johnny). They were told that season four was their last chance to stay on the air, which was just the kick in the ass Josh Schwartz and company needed. As a result, their last season was well-written, compelling, and funny. It also included "The Christmukk-huh?", a spin on It's a Wonderful Life which shows what would have happened if Ryan had never shown up in Newport. Kirsten is married to Jimmy Cooper, Summer is a bimbo, Sandy is a politician, and Julie - well, she's still pretty evil. The always excellent Chris Pratt, who would later go on to play lovable shoeshiner/Mouse Rat frontman Andy Dwyer on Parks & Recreation, takes a break from his hippie character to play an alternate reality thong-snapping frat boy, popped collar and all.
You've probably heard of it. And if you have, you might be interested in seeing it just to see how bad it really is. Well, don't. Seriously. As someone who enjoys bad pop culture almost as much as he loves Christmas, I can tell you that The Star Wars Holiday Special isn't even the kind of crap you can enjoy ironically. It's a sad, embarrassing debacle that somehow manages to top Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and Jar Jar Binks as George Lucas' most shameful creation.
The story goes something like this: In 1978, the concept of the variety show-style television special was quickly becoming irrelevant. CBS, however, decided to give the genre one last shot, figuring the incredible popularity of Star Wars would make it a surefire hit. They hired the best variety show writers money could buy, including Bruce Vilanch, and got talent like Bea Arthur, Art Carney, Harvey Korman, and Jefferson Starship to sign on. Then Lucas stepped in and predictably fucked everything up, demanding that the plot revolve around Chewbacca's family, who are waiting for him to return for "Life Day". This, of course, ensured that it would be the first television special featuring a cast that spoke exclusively in growls and grunts. Also, Mark Hamill is plastered in orange makeup to cover the scarring from a motorcycle accident. And the special took place at the height of Carrie Fisher's booze/pills phase. And Harrison Ford wanted nothing to do with it. And the grandpa wookie pretty much masturbates to a hologram of a sexy R&B singer. And it's two hours long. And the only good thing about it is a cartoon that itself isn't all that great. It's unbearably, unwatchably, irredeemably bad.
But if you are brave, by all means seek out a copy. Since Lucas reportedly attempted to gather and destroy every existing copy, the only versions to be found these days are either on YouTube or bootlegs somehow recorded off the TV in an era before the proliferation of VCRs. If you're "lucky" enough to get a hold of one of them, the best part about it will be the commercials for things like home perms and the 1979 Buick Regal. Go ahead and give it a shot if you're a masochist like me - at least now I can tell my grandkids that I suffered through it. The Star Wars Holiday Special was my Vietnam.
Like many other unhealthily obsessed pop culture junkies, I love NBC's Community. In my opinion, it's one of the most unique, well-written, and hilarious shows of all time. But what I really love about it is that it's about a group of random misfits thrown together by fate who eventually grow to care about each other and have wacky adventures. And in that way, it reminds me of me and my friends.
Of course it goes without saying that I love Christmas too. So to me, Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas is probably my favorite Christmas episode of any show ever. It's got everything - stop motion animation, musical numbers, a touching message, pterodactyls, and a happy ending. Combine that with the brilliance of a usual Community episode and you've got one amazing piece of television. Please enjoy this clip from the episode, in which the gang saves Abed from the evil Christmas Wizard through the magic of Christmas, friendship, and song.
Say what you will about Saturday Night Live - that it's inconsistant, that it's not as funny as it used to be, that it's lame because everyone reads off cue cards - okay, you're probably right. But people have been saying that about the show since its inception, and you can't deny that when SNL brings the laughs, it brings them hard. Here are some of my favorite Christmas sketches spanning the entire history of the show.
First up, Dan Aykroyd plays sleazy toy manufacturer Irwin Mainway as he discusses his dangerous products with "Consumer Probe" host Candice Bergen. The child-friendly toys offered by Mainway toys include "Bag o' Glass", "Johnny Switchblade", and "Teddy Chainsaw Bear". My favorite part is towards the end, where he proves that all toys can be dangerous.
The "Golden Age" of SNL, at least as far as I'm concerned, was the late 80's/early 90's. This is a mostly forgotten Christmas sketch from that time, and it features a who's who of the comedy greats who made that era so legendary (and also Victoria Jackson).
Finally, there's this gem from recent SNL history. Horatio Sanz, Jimmy Fallon, Chris Kattan, and Tracey Morgan perform an insane Christmas song together - well, mostly just Sanz. Fallon half-assedly fiddles with a synthesizer that is held by Kattan while a stone-faced Morgan does a silly dance. I can only imagine how they pitched this to Lorne Michaels.
Jesus and Santa Claus first met in Matt Stone and Trey Parker's first animated film, and they did not get off on the right foot (to put it lightly). Years later, the two reunited for a musical Christmas episode of South Park in which they perform a lounge act featuring a medley of their favorite holiday tunes. While there is a bit of tension, there's nothing resembling the epic battle from their last encounter. And did you know that Santa Claus was a Duran Duran fan? Well, I did.
Much like Zuccotti Park, the Christmas season is often the site of the age old battle between capitalism and socialism. While Americans are expected to trample the elderly and pepper spray pregnant women to get a new Wii, we are also bombarded by the socialist messages of people like George Bailey, Jesus, and Emmet Otter. And if it's the "true meaning of Christmas" you're looking for (i.e. "communism"), then you can't do better than the aforementioned otter and his Jugband Christmas.
The adorable Emmet Otter lives with his equally adorable mother along a river populated with other adorable characters. What's not adorable is how poor they are - even though they manage to scrape by by bartering goods and services with their neighbors, they are constantly taken advantage of by the "1%" of the river, including the evil Gretchen Fox. When a local talent contest gives both Otters a chance to finally get the other a decent Christmas gift, they must decide whether or not to sacrifice the other's livelihood (hock Emmet's toolchest/make a bass out of Mama's washtub) in order to enter. In the end, both Mama and Emmet's jug band lose to a no-good (but badass) group of rock n' rollers called the Riverbottom Nightmare Band. But just when all seems lost, Mayor Frog decides to hire the band to perform in his restaurant, with Mama as the lead singer. Christmas is saved once again!
I first saw this special on HBO in the early 80's and while the blatant socialist propaganda went over my head at the time, as a huge Muppets/Fraggle Rock fan I loved the puppetry. Henson and Co. experimented with camera angles, different scales, and motorized puppetry for a result that's really beautiful to watch (and listen to). Check out my favorite song by the titular jug band, "Barbecue". It may not be very Christmas-y, but dang do I love me some barbecue.
Some things just go well together. Peanut butter and chocolate. Thelma and Louise. And of course, Christmas and Lifetime original movies. Like most people, Lifetime movies are a big guilty pleasure for me and the Christmas ones are the best. If I had to choose a favorite, though, it would have to be A Very Merry Daughter of the Bride. Just like the regular ones, Lifetime Christmas movies have an identity that is based a few very basic shared elements. VMDB just happens to hit all the sweet spots.
Roxanne (JoAnna "Vicki from Freaks & Geeks" Garcia), the film's protagonist, is an attractive, successful, independent woman whose life is dominated by her job - a bridal store which she runs with her mother in a small, charming hometown where the Christmas season is in full swing. After her mother announces her plans to marry a man she met on vacation, Roxanne schemes to break up the couple with the help of C-list celebrity guest starLuke Perry, who plays the new boyfriend's son. She also meets a handsome guy who she hates at first but is clearly perfect for her. In the end, the magic of Christmas causes Roxanne to realize that Luke Perry is evil, her mother should marry the dude, and the handsome guy is, in fact, perfect for her. Also, the movie is filmed in Canada and prominently features an original Christmas song used to save money on music rights. The only thing missing is a precocious child.
Lifetime used to call their Christmas programming "Fa La La La Lifetime", which I thought was great, but this year they're going with the slightly less-ridiculous sounding "It's a Wonderful Lifetime". No matter what they're called, though, they're a heartwarmingly lame way to get into the spirit and kill time before the network starts playing stuff like Gospel of Deceit again.
For some reason, the one Christmas TV special that I think of first every year is "Twas the Night Before Christmas". It's certainly not one of the more famous ones, but something about it made a strong impression on me as a kid. Maybe it was the fact that the Santa Claus in it had a beard, but no moustache, which I found really strange. Maybe it was because Santa is offended by a newspaper editorial that says people don't believe in him anymore, so he decides to cancel Christmas. First of all, I can believe that Santa delivers presents to every boy and girl in the world in one night - but where does he find the time to monitor every local newspaper? Maybe he has a team of elves working on it like the government people who would read everyone's mail during World War 2. And second of all, why would he be so convinced that one guy in some podunk town speaks for the entire world? Usually if Santa's going to cancel Christmas it's because of a big storm or a lack of presents or problems with the sled, not because he's being a whiny bitch. Well now I guess I can see why I remember it so well - I clearly gave it a lot of thought.
Anyway, the story is about a clockmaker who wants to make the town clock sing some song begging Santa to come back, but he can't make it work? Or he gets fired? Something like that. I know they're poor. Anyway, there is a friendly mouse family who lives in his house and they help him make it work at the end. Santa shows up and the titular poem is read, and it's a Merry Christmas to All and to All a Good Night. Like most Christmas specials it has a bunch of songs, and this catchy little ditty is one of my favorites from it.
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